In my Father’s Eyes

DISCLAIMER:  This idea has been rattling around in my brain for almost a year.   I wanted to write down what my dad may have experienced as he watched his life ending.  It’s a rough draft – so probably not completed yet, but something I felt very passionate about.  September 12, 2012 was the 20th aniversary of my dad’s death – so this is in rememberance of what an amazing father he was! ENJOY!

I went to the doctor again today.  My heart is failing, my diabetes worse, my world is crashing down around me.

I’m watching my beautiful daughters, seeing their uniqueness, appreciating their differences, watching them grow – how will they turn out if I’m not here to help them become women?

My time is getting close – I can feel deaths sour breath on my neck – cold and yet comforting…a release from the pain.

My daughters are watching me.  They see my pain, they know I’ll soon be gone, their worlds will change more than they can imagine.

It’s time.  I’ve done what I can, a letter for each of my beautiful girls – a guide for the rest of their lives without me.  Dear God – please let them be ok.

It’s been a blink of an eye for me.  No more pain, no more sadness – just peace. 

 It’s been a lifetime for my girls.  All the pain, all the tears, all the joys…I’ve seen it all – they just don’t know.  I’ve been here all along – they just can’t see.

 I’m proud of what my girls have become.


About Ms Fihaki

Thanks so much for checking out my blog! I’m supposed to write about me – who I am as a person and I really don’t see the sense in that considering that when you read my posts you will learn more about me as a person than you would from any 500 word statement I could make. I will however play by the rules – just this once. I’m 36 years young. I consider myself a strong independant and beautiful woman (hey! I wrote about that! Check it out!). I’m single and love it. Just over a year ago I made some serious lifestyle changes which include eliminating alcohol from my diet, being more physically active, eating healthier and daily working on my spirituality. One of the things which has happened as a result of these lifestyle changes is that I’ve gained a level of clarity I never knew was possible. With this clarity comes the realization that my words affect the lives of those around me. I’ve always been much better at writing than at speaking. If I can affect people the way I do from speaking, just imagine the effect I can have with the written word! I had been blogging about my secret life doing sensual massage – but I wasn’t getting a lot of traffic or interraction from that blog. Upon the suggestion of several friends I decided to start this – my public blog. My hope is that this will allow my readers to interact with me, a real live human being and that together we can create a ripple effect of positivity throughout the universe! (yea I dream big – it’s a must!) Anywho – I sincerely hope you enjoy the things I have to say and interractions are welcome and encouraged! Be Well!

Posted on September 14, 2012, in Poetry and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. I totally cried reading this again…. 🙂 good tears though.

  2. I love this…….so very REAL…..AND, it is something that matters. Your beautiful and honest words can help change lives……and i will support your positive words in any way that i can……BLESSINGS TO U………

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