My band of broken men

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this but I’m perpetually single.  I say that not with regret or sorrow, but rather with acceptance.  I quite enjoy my single life, the freedom I have to do who, what, when I want.  I rarely get lonely because I have so many great people in my life that all my needs are met.  Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I don’t at least attempt relationships on occasion.  I’ve noticed something through my pondering on my past relationships.  I’ve left behind me a band of no longer broken men.

I somewhat fancy myself a healer and this bleeds over into my personal life.  I tend to get involved with broken men, men I want to help, to fix.  I realize this could be unhealthy for me, but I still do it regardless.  The funny part is that generally my “fixing” works, and once we go our separate ways the men succeed at relationships and life.  I’ve often wondered why I can’t find someone who is not broken, who is already complete and whole.  I guess I realize now that I have two choices – Continue getting involved with broken men and remain single, or change my mind – literally change the way my mind thinks and instead of looking for someone to fix look for someone to share with.

Part of the reason I haven’t taken the second option is because I do actually enjoy being single.  I also get bored quickly (I like to say I have a short attention span) and I’ve yet to find someone who can hold my interest for longer than a few years, most often not longer than a few months.  Also, until recently I haven’t really been in a position to look for someone who is of the quality I would want to share my life with.  In other words, I’m still learning to adjust to my newly raised social standing.  I’m not quite sure where to find men of the caliber I would want.

As far as the broken men go – I suppose that I get some type of pleasure from knowing that they’ve learned and grown from their experiences with me and are now able to go on to share that learning and growth with someone else who would need it.  For now – I’m still in communication with many of them, some sporadic, some not so much.  Still a friend and willing and able to help them whenever and wherever I can.  Silver lining?  It helps me hone my healing and life coaching skills.


About Ms Fihaki

Thanks so much for checking out my blog! I’m supposed to write about me – who I am as a person and I really don’t see the sense in that considering that when you read my posts you will learn more about me as a person than you would from any 500 word statement I could make. I will however play by the rules – just this once. I’m 36 years young. I consider myself a strong independant and beautiful woman (hey! I wrote about that! Check it out!). I’m single and love it. Just over a year ago I made some serious lifestyle changes which include eliminating alcohol from my diet, being more physically active, eating healthier and daily working on my spirituality. One of the things which has happened as a result of these lifestyle changes is that I’ve gained a level of clarity I never knew was possible. With this clarity comes the realization that my words affect the lives of those around me. I’ve always been much better at writing than at speaking. If I can affect people the way I do from speaking, just imagine the effect I can have with the written word! I had been blogging about my secret life doing sensual massage – but I wasn’t getting a lot of traffic or interraction from that blog. Upon the suggestion of several friends I decided to start this – my public blog. My hope is that this will allow my readers to interact with me, a real live human being and that together we can create a ripple effect of positivity throughout the universe! (yea I dream big – it’s a must!) Anywho – I sincerely hope you enjoy the things I have to say and interractions are welcome and encouraged! Be Well!

Posted on March 28, 2013, in Prose and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I feel like I could have written this, although I’m not sure if all of my exes were broken to start, but most of them were stupid boys, who seem to have taken my frustrated advice to grow the hell up, and become stupid men instead! I LOVE being single, and will remain so until I find a man who’s already got his shit together and no longer plays video games for 12+ hrs…

    Ain’t nobody got time for that!!


  2. Thanks for commenting Gina – I thought I had replied to this, but I guess not. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one out there who’s gone through this. Now my focus has shifted from men and relationships to repairing my family. 🙂 One more necessary step in my recovery.

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