B.O.B. – A girls best friend
I love my B.O.B! He is the best a girl could ask for.
He doesn’t eat my food. He doesn’t make dirty dishes which he refuses to wash, he doesn’t piss on the toilet or leave the toilet seat up. He doesn’t ever care what I look like. I don’t have to listen to him talking incessantly. He doesn’t play video games which I’m morally opposed to. He doesn’t make any messes (he just makes me make messes). He doesn’t steal from me, or lie to me or cheat on me. I don’t have to entertain him (although he entertains me quite often). The amount of money I spend on him is quite minimal.
He’s always “ready to go” when I am. I don’t have to suck on him to arouse him. He always makes sure I’m taken care of. He goes as long or as short as I want. When we are done playing, he doesn’t take up half the bed, or snore in my ear, or grind his teeth in his sleep. He doesn’t get jealous when I talk to or play with other men. Whenever I’m angry or sad or depressed, he always knows how to make me feel better.
He doesn’t act like a bully one minute and a baby the next. He never hurts my feelings or yells at me. I don’t have to introduce him to my family or friends, and in fact – they would prefer if I didn’t. He doesn’t have any family or friends to introduce me to, so there’s never an issue with that. He doesn’t look at other women, nor does he have any desire to be with anyone but me…How could he?
I love my B.O.B. He IS the best a girl could ask for.
But then – there’s this…Love the song – love the lyrics….