My Ever-Changing World
Last night I had a conversation with my sister about my intent to have my children back. It was a difficult conversation and mostly one sided. I allowed her the opportunity to say how she feels about this decision and did my best to not get defensive. I have to admit; it was really difficult to hear that she has a long held resentment toward me. It was difficult to hear her broken heart at the thought of loosing “her family”. The conversation didn’t end well. I know that this decision is going to cause difficulties in my relationship with her as well as other family members.
BUT – The fact remains that these are my children. I have a unique love for them that only a mother can have. I know my sister will realize this as her own little bundle of joy grows and matures.
My life is so different now than it was 6 years ago when my children went to live with my sister. I’m sober and mostly sane. I’ve worked tirelessly to get myself happy so that I could be a mom that my children can be proud of, so that I can repair some of the damage I’ve caused by my poor choices in life.
I believe that everyone deserves a second chance. And this is mine.
So – My amazing BABYASS will be coming to live here in June. For now it will just be my oldest daughter. I feel like she is at a point in her life where she needs some one on one attention, she needs a more diverse community to live in, and she needs her mom. Between now and next June I will continue having the other two kids come for regular visits so that we can all get to know each other better. In June of next year we will put the choice to the other two kids as to who they want to live with. They are all old enough to make that decision on their own and I am willing to trust their judgment on this matter.
I believe that with time, resentment and anger will fade. I hope that my sister can see that everything I’ve done with regards to my children has been out of love for them. And I hope that with this change she will have the opportunity to focus on her new little family and be the best mom I know she can be.
Here’s to positive changes and moving forward in growth.